getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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