I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
