4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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