I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My feet surprised me
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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