Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think people are normalizing furries
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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