i think my tv is drunk
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My breasts were aching with rage.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
