New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
