Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
