hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
