do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
