He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
