I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he shaved USA in his pubs
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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