Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
