I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
