Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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