i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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