Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
