why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
