It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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