So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
