i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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