I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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