And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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