i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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