next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
