the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
