im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
