I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
