Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
