becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
