What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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