Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So vagazzling was a success
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
