May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
