MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
