i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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