I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
