This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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