if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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