I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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