Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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