WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
