Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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