And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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