My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
