There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
