How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
