Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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