i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
