If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
