Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
